The Cognitive Triangle: How to Change Your Feelings

Think and act differently, and your emotions will naturally follow

In Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or CBT for short, there’s a very useful concept known as the “cognitive triangle”.

It tells us that thoughts, behaviors, and feelings are interconnected. So, if you change one of them, that will influence the other two:

This is best explained with an example. So imagine, for instance, that you’re about to give a toast at your best friend’s wedding.

It’s an important occasion and there are many people there so, understandably, you feel a bit anxious about it.

In this situation, the triangle might look something like this:

Situation: Give toast

Thought: I’m nervous

Behavior: Submissive body language

Feeling: Anxious

However, if you deliberately change the way you think and behave, you can change the way you feel about the situation:

Situation: Give toast

Thought: I’m excited!

Behavior: Assertive body language

Feeling: Enthusiastic

It might sound too easy to be true, but it works surprisingly well.

Research shows that people who choose to perceive anxiety as excitement perform better under pressure.

By intentionally using empowering thoughts and behaviors, you can engineer positive emotions.

So, whenever you would like to change how you feel, keep the cognitive triangle in mind.

Ask yourself how you can think and act differently, and your emotions will naturally follow.